The biggest lie I tell myself is, it's okay to extremely self-critical. By being hard on myself, I'm only helping myself improve, right? Every time I say I'm failing as a mom, or I am critical of my body, I'm just helping myself do better. How will I know about these flaws if I don't play them on loop in my head?
It's as if I don't believe that I can observe the circumstances and situations in my life and surmise when things go well and when they don't. I have this irrational feeling that if I don't frequently point out my failings to myself, then I will repeat them. As if, I won't know when something goes wrong, so I feel I must highlight it in bright yellow and ruminate on it for a while.
It's my mind's way of "helping" but really it is just about being negative and beating myself up. I have trouble stopping at: "I shouldn't have rushed through making dinner. It didn't turn out great." I keep going to the place of: "I am a bad cook. No one wants to eat my food. Why do I even try to do this?" When, the truth is, I am a decent cook, and I find cooking to be a relaxing task, most of the time.
If I am honest with myself, I know when things go well and when they don't. If I give myself a longer leash and trust my decisions, I am much happier. Living life in this way is a way to show myself that I believe in myself, and I trust myself. I can trust that if I say I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it. If things go awry, and I promise myself I'll do better next, then I know I will.
I have no problem being encouraging to others, but it can be challenging for me to encourage myself. However, I have a lifetime of experience with me, and I know better than anyone, the goals I've accomplished and how hard I worked for them. It's a very powerful thing to draw on your experiences to harness positivity in your mind. You can also learn to redirect your mind when it starts to go negative. When you find yourself being self-critical, force yourself to think of a goal you've accomplished. It can be big or small. Every time you start to doubt yourself, redirect your mind to think of a goal or goals you've accomplished.