It has been a while since my last blog post, and that is because we welcomed our daughter late last year. She is three months old now, and motherhood has been a wonderful and challenging adventure. It has made me appreciate things I took for granted before: sleep, meals eaten slowly, hair and clothes without spit up ( I think spit up could be the new deep conditioner of 2019), but it's also made me slow down and appreciate life's simple pleasures.
Rocking my baby girl while we listen to classical lullabies and watch the snow fall has become one of my favorite things. I've always thought snow was beautiful, but did I really slow down to observe it and drink it in? I love watching it fall from her upstairs window. The flakes look so big from a higher place.
Being a parent forces you to slow down. In the early weeks, it was a crazy time with little sleep, but it was easier to handle it when I had this beautiful little person curled up on my shoulder with her warm face in my neck. She has helped to center my world and make me think about what really matters. I used to obsess over tasks and having everything done and trying to be "perfect", before I could relax. It still a daily struggle to not do this, but my little one helps me to realize what is important..
I don't always hit the mark, but I've learned to be a ninja, when I can, with getting things done-- fitting them in a few minutes here and there. What helps me, is to set a goal of accomplishing three things each day. That is more manageable, and it gives me a sense of accomplishment. My world has shifted to being satisfied with "I got some of this done" or "I started this" instead of, "it's all checked off the list." I've also accepted that some days things just don't get done, and I don't usually know when those days will be. I'm working on training myself to let things go and focus on our baby. I don't want to regret these days in the future-- where I should have cuddled her and laughed with her instead of folding clothes. This is much easier said than done for a recovering perfectionist, but is is process.
I've realized not everyday is a win but that also doesn't mean that a day is a loss. Are there ways you can reframe your perspective on your day? I'm learning to treasure days that go smoothly but to know that they may not always happen and that is okay. I can control my reaction to circumstances, and I can control being calm and making sure my baby is warm, safe, and loved. When you feel like you've accomplished nothing in a day, if you look closer, you will likely realized you've accomplished lots of things. They may not be on your todo list, but they still matter.